It’s been six weeks since the railroad job fiasco. I’ve tried looking for work in the area, but haven’t had any luck. I like Chico, and I thought I wanted to stay.

Well I’m just about broke. I can’t waste any more time looking for a job in the Chico area. Well, I suppose I could find a job picking up dog poop–but I haven’t exactly been looking for that sort of thing.

I’ve decided to move back to Hayward for a bit. Back to my folks’ house, so I can regroup. My last day in Chico will be Monday the 16th. I don’t particularly like the Bay Area, but I know I’ll have a much better chance at finding a decent job.

One step closer to Long Beach, I suppose. I’ll be applying to grad schools in that area, as well as looking for work. If I can find a job, a place, and get accepted to CSULB I’ll be able to avoid the one thing I hate more than Joy Tansey–traffic.

But then, you never know with me. I just might get a wild hair and take a job picking up poop in Montana.

Cindy made a cameo in my dreams last night. Usually when I dream about Cindy it’s a long, drawn out plot. It usually involves me being with her, fighting with her, exploring with her, loving her.

However, last night in my dreams, I saw her and looked the other way, ignoring her. I was in a bar, and out of the corner of my eye I saw her sitting in a booth with another man. They were apart from each other, with sullen expressions on their faces. When she saw me her gaze locked, but expression did not change.

I can only guess at what this “means”, if anything. In the past when I dreamt of Cindy, I woke up feeling sad. This morning I woke up feeling empowered.

Perhaps now, finally, four years after breaking up, I’m free. Now, if I could only get these Michele dreams to go away…

Look at my mom… is she crying? Or just shy?