OK<\/p>\n
So Dave calls me up this afternoon around 1pm. I just got finished helping my Dad stain the deck, we’ve been at it for 3 hours, and I’m beat.<\/p>\n
“What the fuck, dude? What’s up? Are we playing golf this afternoon, or what?”<\/p>\n
Hell yes, I’m thinking. Is that even a question? So Dave shows up around 4pm and we hit it, hard.<\/p>\n
First, we go to the bar and buy a 6-pack of hooch. OK, we’re set. We put our clubs in the cart and set out.<\/p>\n
It takes us FOREVER. The 4 guys in front of us are garbage, hitting 4 balls each and they’re all over the course. Needless to say, it takes us forever to finish a round.<\/p>\n
Now, Dave and I are alike, in that we HATE to wait. Both of us are very impatient. 3 hours later and we’re steaming and ready to booze. We skip, entirely, the 8th hole and half the 9th.<\/p>\n
Time to booze.<\/p>\n
3 hours later we’re in the bar, yucking it up with a couple d00ds and getting sloshed. We’re drinking MAS pints of hooch and doing shots of Jack. We’re FUCKED up, to put it mildly.<\/p>\n
Next thing you know, it’s 11pm.<\/p>\n
Oh shit.<\/p>\n
Dave was supposed to be home by 10pm. The way it looks now, he’s ain’t gonna be home until after midnight.<\/p>\n
“Dave, can you drive?”<\/p>\n
“Oh yeah, man, I’m cool. Just gimme some water and something to eat and I’ll make it.”<\/p>\n
I’m not so sure.<\/p>\n
In any case, I feed him, water him, and send him on his way. Then I get to thinking. My Mom’s still up, so I go to talk to her.<\/p>\n
“Whassup Mom? So, uh, is it my fault, or what?”<\/p>\n
I know what’s she’s thinking. Tom and Walt, all over again (my Dad and his best friend).<\/p>\n
I know what’s going to happen. To get the heat off ’em, Dave is going to blame everything on me. So the next time I see his wife, I’m gonna get some stink-eye. But is it really my fault?<\/p>\n
“You should be the more mature one, and get Dave home on time,” my Mom says to me.<\/p>\n
Should I? I dunno. It’s not like I’m holding a gun to Dave’s head and forcing him to drink, right?<\/p>\n
Is it my fault?<\/p>\n
I make myself a burrito and head to my room. I can hear my Mom saying, “You men never learn…”<\/p>\n
Oh yeah, and we saw Melanie Carrol tonight. She’s married, and teaches 5th grade in Lompoc. And our 15-year reunion is in June. Crazy, huh?<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
OK So Dave calls me up this afternoon around 1pm. I just got finished helping my Dad stain the deck, we’ve been at it for 3 hours, and I’m beat. “What the fuck, dude? What’s up? Are we playing golf this afternoon, or what?” Hell yes, I’m thinking. Is that even a question? So Dave […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":false,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-149","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paF8Q-2p","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/149","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=149"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/149\/revisions"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=149"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=149"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=149"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}