I haven’t done much for Halloween since I became older than dirt (turned age 40). I’m going to be 44 in about two months. But this year I intend to hand out candy.<\/p>\n
I’m going to sit in my driveway and bring out the fire pit. I’m going to drink adult beverages, perhaps roast some marshmallows. I’m going to leave a bowl of candy at the edge of the sidewalk for the kids.<\/p>\n
Or maybe I’ll just leave all the lights turned off, lock up the house, and go gamble smoke and drink during prime trick-or-treat hours. Yeah, this is more likely.<\/p>\n
Getting old sucks. I used to love Halloween. <\/p>\n
As I kid I can remember dressing up as Darth Vader, a pirate, and others. I loved going to school because I knew that there would be no instruction on this day–it was going to be parades and candy and bobbing for apples (do they even do this any more?). <\/p>\n
After school I could barely contain my excitement as I waited for the sun to go down. My sisters and I would meet our neighborhood friends in the street (we were playing in the street after dark!!!) for trick-or-treating and fun. Some houses wouldn’t give out candy–instead they would hand out quarters wrapped in tissue paper or roasted peanuts…I skipped those houses.<\/p>\n
Later that night my sisters and I would have all the candy spread out on the floor. We would pick through our haul and eat our favorites first. I would eat everything that had chocolate and peanuts immediately–Snickers, Mr Goodbar, Reeses, Peanut M&Ms. <\/p>\n
And finally I would go to bed that night with a tummyache from all the sugar I had just consumed. And my mind would be so active from sensory overload from all the day’s events. I would hear my sisters snoring down the hall and I would I wish that I could fall asleep too. But instead I would stare at that light out the window and toss and turn in my bed and think about all the candy in the kitchen.<\/p>\n
And now I’m a 43 year old grumpy old man and I don’t eat candy any more or play dress up on Halloween. What’s a good Halloween drink? Don’t say Pumpkin Ale.<\/p>\n
Meh.<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"
I haven’t done much for Halloween since I became older than dirt (turned age 40). I’m going to be 44 in about two months. But this year I intend to hand out candy. I’m going to sit in my driveway and bring out the fire pit. I’m going to drink adult beverages, perhaps roast some […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":2,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"_crdt_document":"","jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","default_image_id":0,"font":"","enabled":false},"version":2}},"categories":[4],"tags":[],"class_list":["post-1029","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","hentry","category-blogs"],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"","jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/paF8Q-gB","_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1029","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/2"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=1029"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1029\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":1030,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/1029\/revisions\/1030"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=1029"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=1029"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.teebiss.com\/blog\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=1029"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}