I don’t give a shit about sports. Football, basketball, baseball (especially baseball)… you know, all those team sports? I don’t care. I just. Don’t. Care.

I don’t memorize stats and player names and where they went to college and where they played their rookie year and their batting average and hoo-ha and what-hey. Worthless waste of time. I mean, what’s the point? How is Slippy McBaseball making the world a better place by playing baseball? And furthermore, how can anyone watch baseball, the most boring game ever invented? It boggles the mind. I just don’t get it.

I was bartending one afternoon years ago when Sporty Sportsnut A #1 Team Fan walked in and took a seat at the bar.

“So, can we get the game on?” he asked.

“The game? What game?” I replied.

You should have seen the look on this man’s face. Such incredulity. He simply could not comprehend that a bartender, of all people, didn’t know what Game he was speaking of. He tried to speak but no words came out.

I can’t remember the last time I watched ‘the game’. I can think of a bazillion other things I’d rather do than watch ‘the game’.

I’m just not a sports guy. My father gave up on me years ago. He used to ask me what I thought of this or that team, if I’d watched ‘the game’ the other night, stuff like that. I never knew what he was talking about. So now he never brings up anything sports related with his only son.

How disappointing that must be for him. I mean, I know I’ve given him plenty of things to be disappointed about in the past 34 years, but come on. Sports? What father doesn’t want to discuss important topics, such as sports, with his son; his only son at that?

I’m a terrible human being. Perhaps I should memorize some stats or something just to humor my father. Hmmm. Maybe not. He’d probably know I was faking it. In fact I know I would be very bad at faking being a sports guy.

And now a cartoon for you to enjoy that pretty much sums up how I feel about sports in general, courtesy of http://www.penny-arcade.com/.

[Click on the image to, like, make it blow up all big and stuff]

And no, I didn’t watch The Foot Bowl on Sunday. Not even the commercials. Not even the half-time show. And honestly I can’t even tell you who played, let alone who won.

Go Team!

I went to Truckee again last week. I drove up Wednesday and stayed through the weekend. It was wonderful.

I sat on the couch and watched TV and fiddled with my laptop. I checked my email, chatted with friends, read my favorite websites. I sat in a rocking chair by the window and watched the snow come down. I BBQ’ed steak and sat by the fire. I played Yosemite with my niece, Ranger Kristen. I went to dinner with my folks. I went gambling with my sister and brother-in-law. I sat in a bar and drank very strong margaritas. I walked all over downtown Truckee. I drank coffee. I slept peacefully.

Now I’m back in Hayward. Yay.

I took my dog, Sunny, for a walk this morning. We went up the street, face into the wind and the sun. The air was cool and clean, and the warmth of the sun felt good on my face.

I closed my eyes and lifted my head to the sky and walked blindly, letting my collie guide us. She will be 12 years old soon–old for a medium-large dog like a collie. She tugged at the leash and dragged me forward, just like she always does.

I couldn’t help but think of my travels in Australia. I spent a month there in July (winter in the southern hemisphere) back in 1994. I traveled from port to port all over south and east Australia, starting in Esperance and ending in Sydney. The weather in the coastal cities of Australia is much like the weather here on the California coast–very mild. Australia felt like home, only cleaner. The people were much nicer as well.

But I’m not in Australia today, I’m in Hayward: The Armpit of the Bay Area.

Bah.