Living with a Popsicle addict can be a daunting task.

Let’s say you just bought two brand new boxes of Popsicles and you’re hankerin’ for a Lime Popsicle. Well, tough shit pal. The Popsicle Addict opened BOTH boxes on the way home, fished through all the Popsicles, and ate all the Lime ones. No soup Popsicles for you!

One night the Anonymous Mystery Popsicle Addict ate a huge pile of Popsicles on her lap. She was so cold afterward we had to turn up the heat in the apartment. In the middle of August.

And you better think twice about buying any food that might need to be frozen, like tasty pizzas or chicken or steak. Not because they are in any danger of being eaten by the Popsicle Addict, no. You see, the freezer only has so much room. And she must have enough room for the Popsicles. Popsicles take priority, you see.

It’s not so bad, I guess. I no longer have to cook for the Anonymous Mystery Popsicle Addict. Popsicles are all she eats.

Now that’s dedication.

You only need to learn 10 words. For example, “ko an” can mean *so* many things, like “thingy” or “thingamajigjig” or “that thing” or “that one”. When words fail you, simply point and say “ko an”.

When giving directions, you need only point with your puckered lips. Raising your arms or pointing with your finger is not necessary.

Entire conversations can be held with your eyebrows. Speaking is not required.

Don’t eat Dinuguan. Just. Don’t. Balut is OK, however. Halo Halo is *always* scrumptious delicious and good to eat.

When BBQ’ing meat, you don’t have to worry about cooking it just right. Just burn the !@#$ out of it. They’ll still eat it. The burnt part is the best part, after all.

Be prepared to laugh and smile a lot. Visayans love to have a good time.

If they prepare a meal for you, eat it, even if you’re not hungry. Their feelings will be very hurt if you do not.

The simple things in life are what matter most. Life is too short not to enjoy it.

To be continued…