Monthly Archives: April 2004

Oakie wisdom

Sometimes it takes someone a little longer than others.

That’s what my grandfather used to tell my mother when I was growing up. She used to call him often, genuinely worried about me. No matter what my parents tried they simply could not motivate me. No amount of punishment would yield the desired behavior.

I am, as I was back then, my own person. I think for myself and I do not follow the crowd. I’ve always had my own way at looking at the world. I was never content with other people’s explanations of things–I had to find out for myself.

In many cases, if I had only listened I could have saved myself some grief. I hate to admit it now, but my old man really did know what the fuck he was talking about. Not all the time, no. But the vast majority of the time, yes.

Looking back over the last 32 years of my life I see a lot of good times and bad, lots of struggle, and lots of happiness. The path I’ve taken through life has been a squiggly line, with lots of backtracks and diversions.

A good friend recently asked me, “If you could go back and do it all over again, what would you do differently?” That’s a pretty tough question. Sure, I have some regrets. I never expected to be a poor, unemployed college student still working on his bachelor’s at 32. But when I really think about it? Nothing. I wouldn’t change a thing.

All my experiences in life have made me who I am today. And I really like myself. Sure, there are things I desire–a family, a career, a home–but I wouldn’t change my life experiences for anything.

Not everyone walks the same path. I sure haven’t. But does that make me less of a man? I’d say it makes me a more complete person. I wish my grandpa was around to see me now. Things are really, finally starting to come together for me. In the last couple of years I’ve managed to pay off all my debts–except for my student loans… I’m graduating next month–a goal I set for myself over 10 years ago. And it really looks like I’m going to get this job with Union Pacific Railroad–a career that I honestly desire.

So what if I’m still struggling to piece things together at 32?

Sometimes it takes someone a little longer than others.

Living in Chico

This town is all about being laid back and having fun.

When I walk around on campus I see so many people smiling, laughing, and enjoying their day. I pass by groups of girls and I can’t help but smile at them. When I see someone from class I grin and ask, “What’s up?” Next thing you know 15 minutes have gone by and we’re both late for class. It’s just that kind of town.

Chico time is much different from Bayarrhea time or SoCal time. In Chico, you get to it when you get to it. You take your time, all smooth and carefree like, and arrive in style. There is no rush hour here. There is no traffic here. There is no grid-lock, stop-and-go, white-knuckle commute here. People don’t cut you off while driving. People actually observe the right of way at intersections. People actually stop and let you cross the street. I hardly ever drive though. I mostly walk everywhere I need to go.

This morning I was walking to school. Usually I take the zig-zag route past all the sorority houses and bars and other miscellaneous hotspots. But today I’m running late (again) so I cut across the park. While walking across the cool, green grass I decide to take my flip flops off. That’s another thing about Chico–nobody wears shoes. We all wear flip flops and sandals. Like this is the fucking beach or something. But I digress. So the grass feels sooo good on my size 14s and I decide to take my sweet ass time walking across it. Whereas before I had decided to cut across the grass, kitty corner, now I’m going to square it off, so it will take longer, and I can enjoy it more.

I get to the end of the lot and there are 3 girls standing there, all talking and laughing and enjoying the beautiful day. As I get closer I see that one of the girls is from my 1st class of the day, Adv. Comp. for Teachers. She is a super cool chick. Like me, she’s a Liberal Studies major. Also like me, she is not going to teach. We sometimes sit next to each other in class, usually giggling, the only two non-teachers in a sea of education whackos. We huddle together like two soldiers in a WWI foxhole, hiding from the enemy. She doesn’t know what she wants to do after college, but she’s pretty sure she wants to travel. She’s applying to cruise lines, airlines, and Club Med type resorts. And she’s a fox.

She and I once stood in the blaring sun for 2 hours and talked, each of us enjoying each other’s company, oblivious to everything going on around us. Neither one of us wanted to disrupt our little conversation, so we never thought to suggest to stand in the shade, sit down somewhere, get coffee, etc. It was very cool. But I digress again.

So I walk up to the three girls in the park, and I notice all three of them have their flip flops off too. Now all four of us are standing barefoot on the lawn, half in the shade, half in the sun, talking and laughing and having a perfect day. I look at my watch and realize that my little friend and I are going to be very late to class… again. Ahhh so what. The four of us spend the next hour talking and hanging out at the park. Needless to say, we did not make it to class.

This stuff happens all the time up here. It is not unusual for a teacher to stop and say something like, “You know what? Let’s go outside, it’s a beautiful day. Do you guys want to have class down by the creek?” I never object.

I’m really going to miss this place. Chico has been the antithesis of Los Angeles–slow paced, low human population, wide open spaces, nature everywhere, and friendly people. Chico was exactly what my broken heart needed after leaving SoCal.

Good times.