I started this blog way back in October 2003–over 20 years ago. I was a student at Cal State Univ Chico and I was in my last year of college. There was so much uncertainty in my life and it was weighing on my mind heavily. I needed an outlet for all of my thoughts. And since I’ve always had trouble keeping track of it all in my head I turned to writing–like I have for most of my life.
Recently I found my old journals from my high school and my Navy years. I was hesitant to read that stuff. I knew the pain that was hidden in there. But I started with the first journal and read until they were all done. Ending with my old drunken ramblings at 2am at Jack’s coffee shop in Chico (when Jack’s was still open 24 hours). I was right, all the painful stuff was in there. All the girlfriends, all the breakups, all the moving around, the Navy angst, the uncertain future, losing loved ones… But I’m glad I still have those journals.
And I’m glad that I still have this blog. I don’t update much any more because all the pain and angst and uncertainty and negativity in my life is gone. I’ve enjoyed a tremendous amount of peace in the last decade. I really hope it stays that way. But I’m so glad that this blog is still around. It catalogues some of the really good years, the best years, the great times, and experiences of my adult life.
Such a stark contrast between teenage-20 year old Tom Bissell, and Tom of his 30s-beyond. I wish I could have had some kind of preview of what my adult life would be like, back when I was 19 years old and so full of negativity. If only I’d known that I just had to make it through my 20s and then everything would be all right.
So here I am, updating my blog again. It’s been over a year since my last post. I’m 52 years old now. All the old folks are gone. My parents, aunts and uncles, and some cousins. Like I told Scott last year when his father passed away – we’re the old folks now.
I think about my younger days often. I remember my high school years and all the friends that I had and I wonder what they are doing now. If you’re reading this, send me an email or a text? You probably have my contact info somewhere. I kinda feel like we’re all running out of time.
I’d like to chat with you again, old friend.
